and it's at times like these that i feel that i'm at the deepest valley in my life. i'm so tired, so drained. yet i still try to give my best. but it doesn't seem like it matters. there are just so many stuff going on now. stuff that i cannot even share with grace, jack. it just hurts me so much. yet i face the world with a smile on my face, and the most sincerity and genuineness i can offer to anyone. but it's just .. disappointing to know that some people don't really give a damn about you. it's like "if you're there, you're there. if you're not, then you're not." maybe i'm just overly-sensitive at times. but i feel that alot of people don't like me. and living in doubt.. it really sucks. i wish i could do more. i wish people would love me more. and the purpose of this? i wish you would care enough to read it. that you would care enough to maybe leave me a note or something. and dear God, this x'mas, i pray for my family. please watch over them. amen.
it's x'mas eve. enjoy yourself everyone. (:
Prelude
all my life, i've been searching for you
and i wonder if you've found me too
